Thursday, September 27, 2007

I waited longer than A.C. Green to make this post

Finally…The Fox…has come back…to the Shamrock Headband.

OK, so now you’re either wondering who the hell I am or if you do remember the few posts I’ve put up, you’re wondering where the hell I’ve been. I’ll make it easy for you. I’ve been enjoying the summer. Putting in the hard hours on my weekly radio show and frantically trying to push my fantasy baseball team to the playoffs and coming up just short (I also learned drafting Chris Carpenter with your 2nd pick can cause substantial hair loss in a 24-year-old).

I’ve been ravenous for hoops news. The Celtics signed KG and it seemed like the sky was the limit for NBA summer roster shakeups. And during the month of August – I saw nothing. I saw James Posey. And Scot Pollard. Eddie House. I was waiting for Ainge to sign up David Wingate, or Gerald Paddio, or maybe the immortal Steve Scheffler. What the hell are you doing Danny? Of all the inexpensive bench options you had, you grab throw-ins from late-90’s, early 2000’s Schick Rookie-Sophomore challenges. I could go on all day about this, but sticking with the story…

So I said “screw it, NBA.” I kept reading the excellent posts on this blog and waited…and now, suddenly, we’ve got Shawn Marion wanting a trade. We’ve got Andrei Kirilenko wanting a trade. As DJ Kay Slay would say, “Drama!”

To the Utah Jazz: help yourselves out! Kirilenko is dead to you, at least in Sloan’s offense. You could have Richard Jefferson starting at the 2 next year. Alternatively, you could have Lamar Odom starting at the 3. Both of these players have demonstrated skill in a half-court set, which is Sloan’s bread and butter. Make a deal!

To Shawn Marion: if you go anywhere, make sure they have a decent point guard. You’ve had the fortune of playing with Jason Kidd, Stephon Marbury (over 8 dimes a night at the time), and Steve Nash in Phoenix. You can stay there and challenge for the NBA title the next couple of years, or you can see a significant drop in production playing for a lottery team. But then of course, everyone and their uncle with the glass eye is demanding a trade, so we might not see anything here.

So now I’m back and I’m ready for the season. The kicker was clearly when I went to visit my dad for the weekend and the one thing he wanted to do was go to the grocery store so he could pick up the Sporting News, Athlon Sports, and Lindy’s NBA Preview Issues (i.e. every basketball magazine on the rack). That’s when you know things are heating up: the preview issues hit the shelves.

I’m excited to watch The Ticket play for my home team. I love Jesus Shuttlesworth playing the 2 this year. Love him. Class act. But I’m not drinking, as my radio co-host would call it, the Celtics “cuckoo juice.” The Green is going at it this season with a trio of all-stars and a band of Smurfs. Why, they just signed a big Bolivian stiff this week. He can play Papa Smurf behind Fee-fi-fo-fum Perkins and eccentric Canadian singer/songwriter Pollard. What’s that? Batista is from Uruguay? My apologies. Welcome to town. But I don’t care if he’s from Bolivia, Uruguay, if he’s from Kamchatka (the country in the upper right hand corner of the “Risk” board) – I don’t care if he’s former Blue Jays slugger Tony Batista or Batista the roided-out pro wrestler. He’s another Danny Ainge, “post-KG special,” stiff. We’ll talk more on this in the future.

1 comment:

Sean said...

fox you punked out on us man. we was waiting for you by 35th and you chumped your boy. i'll never forget that betrayal. in my community, betrayal is the ultimate sign of respect. love you goose fox

now let's get down to ball. you don't know how to play ball, that much i know, but you write about, everybody lives vicariously one way or another, i got a play oven that i mess with sometimes, my girl's strict, tells me 'chill on the baking.' i'm about to rip into you fox, i'm the bastard child of two things you don't know about...disease and the torah

you don't know about the seattle sonics and what they try to do. kevin durant can ball but he's also shy and that works well with the ladies. my man kd is trying his hardest and all y'all is hatin on 'im cause he couldn't close the deal with that biddy on 134th and park. it's all good though cause now kev don't got distractions, kev don't got females, KEV GOT BALL.

that's why they winnin' the title. and this is why else:

cuz kg is 31 and old and hungry and greedy

cuz the bullz is wack with paxson like my boy tim said or was it jack-fu

cuz steve nash ain't never tasted finals basketball and it's mad spicy

cuz dirk nowitzski missed his calling to be a drummer in the icelandic band that's all over the vanilla sky soundtrack. i'm playing dirk should be a teacher, my bad he should be a freudian psychoanalyst and resurrect the now-dead 'civilization and its discontents'

cuz michael redd ain't tractor traylor and if he was they still wouldn't make the finals

cuz your boy kobe is one-dimensional. one-dimensionally excellent stop hatin' especially if you from colorado.

cuz my boy fox attack is back and he's probably picking the celtics because his intellect is too big and my boy loves stealing pugs, taking names, and making predictions

stay real fox
we missed you
one love and happiness
cruise didn't make a bad movie for a five year stretch that ended with war of the worlds

and pierce will average 21.8

peace love fox

~goose